What is the best way for a daughter-in-law to respond to a mother-in-law who has made it abundantly clear that she will never be welcomed into her family?

This is my mother’s tale.

The entire family despised her when she wed my dad. Each and every one. They didn’t start to become less antagonistic until she gave birth to my brother, but not grandma. My grandma had a strong dislike for my mother, which I could not comprehend. She injured her first grandchild, my brother. She steadfastly refused to accept me as her grandchild, even going so far as to circulate false information about my mother’s extramarital relationship.

But fate has an odd way of working. My family was the one that lived the closest to my sick granny at the time. Consequently, during the remaining twenty years of her life, grandma shared her home with a son who despises her and won’t refer to her as “mom,” a daughter-in-law she detested, a grandson she had physically abused, a granddaughter she refused to recognise, and ultimately a grandchild.

Hell was our shared experience. But my mother remained strong. She gave us the fortitude to put up with grandma’s outbursts. She fulfilled her obligations as a daughter-in-law, but nothing more. She urged us to follow suit, but I have to admit that as her granddaughter, I inherited my grandma’s obstinacy. My grandmother had a temper.

Grandma eventually passed away. My parents were there, but I wasn’t. She was reportedly afraid in her final weeks and requested that my mother remain at her side. While confined to her bed, she did her best to help my mum. Grandma thanked my mom and expressed regret for the 20 years of misery she had caused in her closing moments.

My mother pardoned her. I no longer harbor resentment for the deceased. But that doesn’t imply I have any affection for her.