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Asked: September 14In:
Aarchi
Explainer

A friend of mine has finally left her very abusive relationship. Even though he never physically harmed her, but he was such a narcissist. Poor girl was left with literally no confidence and no friends or life outside marriage, Finally ...Read more

A friend of mine has finally left her very abusive relationship. Even though he never physically harmed her, but he was such a narcissist. Poor girl was left with literally no confidence and no friends or life outside marriage, Finally she met another man (a colleague) who has helped her make this decision of leaving her husband.
She is staying with me for a while now, till her divorce gets final. The problem is that she keeps crying that she could not sustain her relationship. i mean, why is she feeling guilty of coming out a relationship with that monster!!!
I am actually feeling angry with her. He treated her like a doormat through 5 years, and now also she is letting him ruin her life.
I just cannot understand this.

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  1. Shani Abdul Seeker "Purpose of Education is to replace an empty mind with an Open one"

    This is not her fault dear. Sometimes we are so used to being dependant on someone, even in a toxic way, that we cannot imagine living without them. It is just the society which has made us believe that as a woman, we have to be strong and not complain, and tolerate every behaviour - from parents toRead more

    This is not her fault dear. Sometimes we are so used to being dependant on someone, even in a toxic way, that we cannot imagine living without them. It is just the society which has made us believe that as a woman, we have to be strong and not complain, and tolerate every behaviour – from parents to in laws to children to any random stranger.
    She will need a lot of time, and I would strongly suggest therapy to get out of this vicious clutch.

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Asked: July 16In: ,
Vivaan
Seeker

I have been single for past 5 years now and now i am looking for a life partner. I am working professional. suggest me some good matrimony to find my match?

I have been single for past 5 years now and now i am looking for a life partner. I am working professional. suggest me some good matrimony to find my match?

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  1. Ankita
    This answer was edited.

    I found my partner from the same platform. I'll share you the link https://absolutematrimony.com/ they also have an app on playstore you can download it from there.

    I found my partner from the same platform. I’ll share you the link

    https://absolutematrimony.com/

    they also have an app on playstore you can download it from there.

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Asked: September 20In:
Vamika
Seeker Lost myself trying to please everyone else!

This is something quite common I think, but I dont know how to deal. My husband gives me just enough money for houeshold kharcha. Not even 100 rs more. If I have to buy anything else, i have to ask ...Read more

This is something quite common I think, but I dont know how to deal. My husband gives me just enough money for houeshold kharcha. Not even 100 rs more. If I have to buy anything else, i have to ask him and he decides if I should buy it. He earns good, he buys expensive dresses for me also sometime. But they are never my choice. And if I dont wear them, he dont buy anything for me for a long time. What should i do?

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  1. jenny Seeker A Dentist and a Mom

    I can't even imagine what you must be going through. unfortunately this is a scenario found in many Indian homes, people are literate, but not educated. For some reason being a male, or producing a male is the only requisite for respect. Until and unless every female going through this starts fightiRead more

    I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. unfortunately this is a scenario found in many Indian homes, people are literate, but not educated. For some reason being a male, or producing a male is the only requisite for respect.
    Until and unless every female going through this starts fighting back, there is no hope for future. I know I am talking through my hat here, i have literally no idea about your actual struggles, but one step at a time. We do have a few in house counselors, why don;t you talk to them directly.

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Asked: September 16In:
Ruchita
Seeker Engineer

Guys, this is in continuation to my previous query, https://absolutetalks.com/my-cousin-is-a-23-year-old-woman/ So, my cousin is supposed to get married to this guy in a few months – arranged marraige. he and his family had initially said they require no ...Read more

Guys, this is in continuation to my previous query,
https://absolutetalks.com/my-cousin-is-a-23-year-old-woman/

So, my cousin is supposed to get married to this guy in a few months – arranged marraige.
he and his family had initially said they require no dowry. Even then my relatives had told them that they will give a car, I-10 to them. Now suddenly they are saying that they want a creta car and they should provide 10 lakh cash as booking amount for a new home the boy will buy after marraige.
My cousin is of course very angry and wants to break off the marriage. But her family is like, we will arrange, this happens, no problem and all.
What should I do now? I am already involved in these matters since the beginning.
I am myself soooo angry.

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  1. viral Explainer Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do.

    Hi Ruchita! It's commendable that you are helping out your cousin, when apparently no-one else in family is listening to her. this is how our society is, a girl's parents tend to feel an inferiority complex in such a scenario. It's a shameful reflection of our society but there it is. Please pleaseRead more

    Hi Ruchita! It’s commendable that you are helping out your cousin, when apparently no-one else in family is listening to her. this is how our society is, a girl’s parents tend to feel an inferiority complex in such a scenario. It’s a shameful reflection of our society but there it is. Please please both of you take a stand against the others who are forcing this marriage. You might end up denting your relationship with a few of them beyond repair. But then, consider the consequences of not retaliating.
    As someone had commented in your earlier post, A broken engagement is nothing compared to an abusive marriage.
    Lot of courage shall be required on your part, and I wish you the courage to go through this drama. ✌️

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Asked: September 7In:
Anonymous
Anonymous

My husband is just so angry all the time. He get up, shout for food, water, clothes, anything. Then shouts at me before going to office to tell me to do house work properly. I do everything, no maid at ...Read more

My husband is just so angry all the time. He get up, shout for food, water, clothes, anything. Then shouts at me before going to office to tell me to do house work properly. I do everything, no maid at all. Then he come home late in night, and never like what I cook, even if i cook his fav. Then he say house is not clean, his clothes is not clean, what I do all day, just sit and watch TV?
He never hit me, never. or say bad words to me. But he is angry. He was not like this, just 5- 6 months ago. Suddenly he changed. Can I help him?

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  1. Best Answer
    Meena_Aunty Relationship Advisor Expert Relationship Advisor
    This answer was edited.

    Check this dear   https://www.instagram.com/p/CiMusO3s5ws/

    Check this dear

     

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Asked: September 10In:
Anonymous
Anonymous

Why does break up feel like a physical pain? Like I will never come out of this. I will never sleep again, never feel like eating or even talking to another person again.

Why does break up feel like a physical pain? Like I will never come out of this. I will never sleep again, never feel like eating or even talking to another person again.

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  1. Avantika Explainer

    It is a mental & a physical pain, I can understand, falling in love and then having to get out of it can feel like eternal. That it will never end, that it will always feel like we will remain hurt & empty. It will take a lot of time to recover, but you will definitely recover. You will feelRead more

    It is a mental & a physical pain, I can understand, falling in love and then having to get out of it can feel like eternal. That it will never end, that it will always feel like we will remain hurt & empty.

    It will take a lot of time to recover, but you will definitely recover. You will feel better with time.

    Just give yourself time and don’t think about what happened

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Asked: September 14In:
Anonymous
Anonymous
I am totally frustrated. My elder brother-in-law had come to visit us last month. He is a divorcee and works from home. So, he has no obligations anywhere else. I thought he will leave in a few days, but it has been more than one month. My husband goes to …

I am totally frustrated. My elder brother-in-law had come to visit us last month. He is a divorcee and works from home. So, he has no obligations anywhere else. I thought he will leave in a few days, but it ...Read more

I am totally frustrated. My elder brother-in-law had come to visit us last month. He is a divorcee and works from home. So, he has no obligations anywhere else. I thought he will leave in a few days, but it has been more than one month. My husband goes to office, and BIL just sits in the drawing room and keeps watching me do house work, does not say anything, just stares.
We have a full-time maid also, so I am not really worried, physically. But it weirds me out. I don;t even know what to tell to my husband, nothing has happened, per se. I just want him to leave. But he isn’t showing any signs of moving away anytime soon. Hubby is ofcourse happy to have his brother with him, they enjoy a lot in the evenings. What should I do?

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counsellingmaritalproblems
  1. Meena_Aunty Relationship Advisor Expert Relationship Advisor

    Dear, what your brother in law is doing is a form of harassment only! The looks which make another uncomfortable or make them feel unsafe should not be tolerated. You need to tell your husband that you are not comfortable with another man in house. Do not place any direct blame yet. Just tell him abRead more

    Dear, what your brother in law is doing is a form of harassment only! The looks which make another uncomfortable or make them feel unsafe should not be tolerated. You need to tell your husband that you are not comfortable with another man in house. Do not place any direct blame yet. Just tell him about your discomfort. I am sure he will understand the situation and come to a solution.

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Asked: September 7In:
Nisha
Seeker A dreamer

I have a problem, my bf says he loves me a lot. We are going out for 6 months. But he never shows me his whatsapp. He takes his phone even in bathroom. His whatsapp is face-locked, I cannot open ...Read more

I have a problem, my bf says he loves me a lot. We are going out for 6 months. But he never shows me his whatsapp. He takes his phone even in bathroom. His whatsapp is face-locked, I cannot open it. I feel that he is hide something. What can I do to see his chats?

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  1. Avantika Explainer

    a big HA! he is definitely hiding something. I am not saying that he is cheating, it could be somthing else also. But he is hiding. You need to sit down and decide for yourself that you trust him or not? If you cannot trust him, then tell him clearly. If he is still not ready to share, then it willRead more

    a big HA!
    he is definitely hiding something. I am not saying that he is cheating, it could be somthing else also. But he is hiding.
    You need to sit down and decide for yourself that you trust him or not? If you cannot trust him, then tell him clearly. If he is still not ready to share, then it will be best to move on. because commitment cannot be without trust & sharing.

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Asked: July 13In:
Somiya
β€œNot until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”

I just want to thank Absolute Talks for this anonymous, yet trustworthy space for us to talk about relationship problems. I finally reached out to a relationship counselor here. After just a few sessions of therapy, I can safely say ...Read more

I just want to thank Absolute Talks for this anonymous, yet trustworthy space for us to talk about relationship problems. I finally reached out to a relationship counselor here. After just a few sessions of therapy, I can safely say that my future looks a whole lot better than it seemed sometime back. Reaching out and asking for help may feel a difficult, but Guys, please do. You won’t regret.

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  1. Best Answer
    Absolute Talks Admin

    We thank all our seekers for your wonderful response to our humble start-up. We will continue our efforts to try and remove this societal stigma attached to Emotional health.. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Absolute Talks - Relationships & You πŸ‘₯ (@absolutetalks)

    We thank all our seekers for your wonderful response to our humble start-up. We will continue our efforts to try and remove this societal stigma attached to Emotional health..

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Asked: September 5In:
Juhi
Seeker

My neice is very close to me. She is working in a good MNC. A junior in her department had recently approached her. He is smart, from a good family, a decent fellow (they hv been working together since almost ...Read more

My neice is very close to me. She is working in a good MNC. A junior in her department had recently approached her. He is smart, from a good family, a decent fellow (they hv been working together since almost a year now.)
She is in a dilemma, since he will always remain her junior unless either switch company. same with salary. She doesn’t want to start a casual relationship, and thinks they are certain to have ego issues if they move ahead. I am at a loss to advice her. What should I tell her?

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  1. Priyanka ghosh Seeker

    If she is not ready for it, don't force her. Let them be friends and know each other, usually, this happens when we have a bad past or saw one. So yeah give her time.

    If she is not ready for it, don’t force her. Let them be friends and know each other, usually, this happens when we have a bad past or saw one. So yeah give her time.

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Asked: August 21In:
Anonymous
Anonymous

Hello , I am proud mother of 3.8 year old daughter.i left my husband house when she was just 9 months . I wait for some time just to see may be if are away my husband might changed his drinking ...Read more

Hello ,

I am proud mother of 3.8 year old daughter.i left my husband house when she was just 9 months . I wait for some time just to see may be if are away my husband might changed his drinking and other bad mantality but he did not .after 1 yaer with lawer advice started the divorce case inbetween he did not even try to get the trust on him also his family did try to short out the matter other than go back to him without any trust . And thing is he don’t want to give divorce also .Now it’s been almost 3 year i am fighting and case was in our favor till the end but after doing so many efforts we loose our case.
Now i am worry about my daughter and my self how we can come out from this thing. his family is not that much mature to listen us, my husband is in all bad habits don’t even listen to his parents .and i just wanted to be come out fro. This toxic relationship.plz help and advise

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  1. Best Answer
    David Seeker The Devil and I, get along just fine
    This answer was edited.

    Alcohol is a monster sister. It eats away a man, and his entire family. And you have to understand that alcoholic can never change his ways. He will always remain same. SO you will have to get away at any cost. I hope you have financial stability to support yourself and child. If not, think about aRead more

    Alcohol is a monster sister.

    It eats away a man, and his entire family. And you have to understand that alcoholic can never change his ways.

    He will always remain same. SO you will have to get away at any cost.

    I hope you have financial stability to support yourself and child. If not, think about a job first.

    Best, try for a job far away from you husband’s city. Try for a new country if possible. These days Canada visa is easier to get. Just leave and move.

    Your husband will realise that you are seirous, and he will agree for divorce himself when his life will not move forward because of you.

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Asked: August 18In:
Anonymous
Anonymous

I am a divorced mother of one lovely daughter. It has been more than 2 years since we separated, my ex-husband doesn’t even talk anymore to me. I have been craving physical intimacy since a while. I really want to ...Read more

I am a divorced mother of one lovely daughter. It has been more than 2 years since we separated, my ex-husband doesn’t even talk anymore to me.
I have been craving physical intimacy since a while. I really want to start casual dating again, but am afraid that the society, and even men will not accept this. Is this fear normal? Or should I wait for some more time before looking for a relationship?

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  1. Best Answer
    Absolute Talks Admin

    Dear Seeker, it truly pains us to think that the 'society'Β  still has so much influence on you. Please go through our insta handle @absolutetalks to see the stories of single moms who have moved on. Love and strength to you.

    Dear Seeker, it truly pains us to think that the ‘society’Β  still has so much influence on you.

    Please go through our insta handle @absolutetalks to see the stories of single moms who have moved on.

    Love and strength to you.

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