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I am well educated, want to do job to become economically independent, but my husband doesn’t want me to work he says “You have everything one dreams of. Why do you need to work.” Many times we argue on over that but …

Shani Abdul
Seeker "Purpose of Education is to replace an empty mind with an Open one"

I am well educated, want to do job to become economically independent, but my husband doesn’t want me to work he says “You have everything one dreams of. Why do you need to work.” Many times we argue on over that but he always wins. Please give me some suggestions.

10 Answers

  1. Best Answer
    Relationship Advisor

    Hope this helps

    • 14
  2. Seeker A book a day, keeps the reality away

    Sometimes situations like these call for delicate handling rather than head-on arguing. Why don’t you leave this topic for a while. In this time, find a friend who can use your skill set in their work. Then after a few months, tell your husband that a friend of yours is looking for some help in her business, and has asked you, since it falls under your domain. Make sure you don’t talk about any payment, and act like you are your friend doing this as a favour. Try n remain really happy during this time when you are working. When this job finishes, keep telling your husband how happy you were, and act a little depressed. Then a little while later, make another such opportunity. Slowly, steadily, your husband will start realizing how happy working makes you. This seems a little sneaky, but sometimes we have to manipulate situations so as not to cause ego-clashes. All the best .

    • 1
  3. Seeker

    There are two possible reasons for your husband to act like that. First, maybe he wants to be the alpha of the house who provides for the family. That is the reason he does not want you to earn money. The second reason can be, he loves you so much that he does not want you go out work and take stress. But, no matter what is the reason, he must try and understand your feelings. Try and talk to him about why do you think working is necessary for you. Share your feelings. I hope your husband gets convinced and let you work and fulfil your dreams.

    • 1
  4. Seeker

    It’s your life and you should live it on your own terms and conditions, if you want to work please work, don’t ask for permission of anyone. If he is offering you a dream life that does not mean that it is the dream life that you want. Everyone dreams are different if you want to live your dream life stop surrendering him to his manipulation. Be unapologetic about who you are.

    • 1
  5. Relationship Advisor Relationship Advisor/ Matrimonial Consultant
    This answer was edited.

    There are multiple interpretations to both your point of views. Maybe you are not conveying the importance of working to him properly. Because frankly, his answer seem a little frivolous, like he is not taking your idea seriously. There is definitely some gap in communciation, and you need to assess out your own need properly before confronting him.  

    I’d love to discuss with you, do connect with me directly dear.

    • 1
  6. Seeker A Dentist and a Mom

    It could be that your husband is insecure that you might stop respecting him if you start working yourself.
    Both scenarios require different handling of the situation. If he is insecure, then you need to constantly remind of his good qualities and how you admire those. This act would also help you to respect the relationship, despite this one hiccup. Insecurity is a crack in the wall, which, if left unattended, may cause the entire relationship wall to crumble. As someone else suggested, convince him to let you do a small freelance job, and make sure that you remain supporting to him through this project. Take care!

    • 0
  7. Seeker

    Friend, you can do many things without going to job.
    You don;t need money.
    Then, do some social work, there are many NGOs looking for help. this is online work from home also.
    of course your husband will not stop you from during humaniterian work.

    • 0
  8. Explainer Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do.

    How did I miss this question! I hope you have already resolved the matter, just in case you haven’t – here are my two cents.

    It’s your life dear lady. No one but you yourself can have a say on what to do with it.

    Take control and tell your husband that you want to work. Period.

    Peace✌️

    • 0
  9. Seeker

    Be it anything in life never let yourself down for anyone and don’t let anyone control you, you have got one life to live, and you don’t know what is going to happen next so do what makes you happy if you want to work go for it and work and make yourself happy.

    • 0

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