I am 30 year old girl. My parents had divorced when I was around 13 years old, after years and years of an abusive marriage. They would shout and scream and hit each other. It was a difficult childhood, but I do not want to get into that. The issue is that I have a boyfriend, who is perfect. We have been going out since quite some time now. He loves me and has recently proposed to me. However, I am traumatized by the concept of marriage. I have not answered him yet, and he is being very patient and understanding, because he knows about my past. But I am not sure if would ever be able to marry. I am morally feeling obligated to break off with him, so that he doesn’t spoil his future, waiting for me. I cannot stand the thought of leaving him, but it’s for best. Am I thinking right? What do I do?
My heart goes out to you dear. I will seriously recommend therapy / counselling to you. The trauma that you have gone through would have left deep scars in your mind. And it is obvious that you have tried to keep those scars buried, rather than tackling them.
DO not take this lightly, these scars can cause life-long mental issues, and not just in your love-life, but they may start effecting your day to day life. You are still young, and your mind is resilient. You DESERVE a chance at happiness and love.
I am so sorry that you had a bad childhood. But you have to accept that you are not your mother, your bf is NOT your father.
Are you ready to throw away a chance at happiness because of a bad shadow in your past?
Are you ready to remain single your entire life?
Are you ready to regret what could have been?
The answer has to be NO.
Take the leap of faith , wishing you peace and happiness ✌